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[#] Thu Jan 14 2021 15:34:40 MST from ParanoidDelusions <paranoiddelusions@wallofhate.com>

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I do not understand how you guys manage to stay 15... 20 years at the same job. I'm like one of those flaky girlfriends with commitment issues. The minute I feel a little bit of uncertainty, I'm so fucking done with a place - and even if I try to stick around after that point, usually the place is done with me, because it becomes clear I'm not fully committed.


It could be the best job in the world, I could be happy every day - but the first time it lets me down, I'm like... fuuuuhuuuuuuck this place.


I have a tremendously difficult time kissing an ass that is wrong - and that seems to be the #1 criteria for being engaged in a long term employment situation. Figuring out whose ass it is important to kiss... and going to town on it like a fat kid on a bologna sandwich.


And... I'm good at what I do... whatever it is. I'm always a top performer. But at 50, I completely realize that this isn't what most employers prize most. They prize having their ass treated like a fat kid's sammich. They want you to be a top performer, too... but if they have to choose between a lesser performer who can kiss an ass like a porn star gives blowjobs, or a guy who is a top performer but gives a lackluster ass kissing - 9 times out of 10 it is the idiot who knows how to suck up who wins.

That isn't my current situation. Top performers and being the best ass kisser aren't what are at play. That observation applies to larger companies.

The funding for Wallofhate may be running dry, though. Just a heads up.

 

 



[#] Fri Jan 15 2021 19:07:40 MST from TheDave

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Yeah, I get that too.  They don't care if you're in the top 5 performers for the last 18 months if you keep calling them on bullshit and explaining why their plans are bad and how to fix them. 

Fortunately now I work for a friend who values being told how his ideas are bad and how to make them good. I love my job.

What are the expenses of the board?  I'd be willing to kick in a little to keep the dream alive.



[#] Fri Jan 15 2021 20:13:07 MST from ParanoidDelusions <paranoiddelusions@wallofhate.com>

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$15 a month. But... losing my job won't mean I've dropped out of the top 1%. It means I won't have 2k a month to blow on expensive FPGA Amiga systems from Germany every month. My wife can carry my burden for a while. I just may have to get a job I hate that requires me to bend the knee and show up and leave at particular times and file productivity reports and other bullshit. It may actually end up moving me further *into* the 1%, if I get a job that pays me the kind of wage I've generally commanded in my life. It will mean that my wife can start lording over me how she is carrying the *entire burden of the household*... and I get tired of THAT shit, too - being that from 1994 until 2003, that was MY role while she was going through college getting the education to be in her role now. But... overall, it was a good trade. She has more discipline than me for being a major breadwinner. I have more eccentric passion for being uh... unreliable. 

Here is the thing- I work for a friend. That is the worst part, at this point. He doesn't like advice, he reacts poorly to challenge, and he has incredible mood swings. He can be the coolest guy in our circle of friends. 

Then, he can be the biggest asshole. 

Which, I bet a lot of people would say about me. So it makes a volatile mix. Heh. I think we both know it, too. 

It is too bad. On the other hand, even if he fires me... I think *I'll* be OK with it, as far as social situations go. I hope he'll be able to not care that I won't care, though. 

 

 

Fri Jan 15 2021 19:07:40 MST from TheDave

Yeah, I get that too.  They don't care if you're in the top 5 performers for the last 18 months if you keep calling them on bullshit and explaining why their plans are bad and how to fix them. 

Fortunately now I work for a friend who values being told how his ideas are bad and how to make them good. I love my job.

What are the expenses of the board?  I'd be willing to kick in a little to keep the dream alive.



 



[#] Sat Jan 16 2021 00:45:51 MST from TheDave

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Fri Jan 15 2021 20:13:07 MST from ParanoidDelusions

$15 a month. But... losing my job won't mean I've dropped out of the top 1%. It means I won't have 2k a month to blow on expensive FPGA Amiga systems from Germany every month. My wife can carry my burden for a while. I just may have to get a job I hate that requires me to bend the knee and show up and leave at particular times and file productivity reports and other bullshit. It may actually end up moving me further *into* the 1%, if I get a job that pays me the kind of wage I've generally commanded in my life. It will mean that my wife can start lording over me how she is carrying the *entire burden of the household*... and I get tired of THAT shit, too - being that from 1994 until 2003, that was MY role while she was going through college getting the education to be in her role now. But... overall, it was a good trade. She has more discipline than me for being a major breadwinner. I have more eccentric passion for being uh... unreliable. 

Here is the thing- I work for a friend. That is the worst part, at this point. He doesn't like advice, he reacts poorly to challenge, and he has incredible mood swings. He can be the coolest guy in our circle of friends. 

Then, he can be the biggest asshole. 

Which, I bet a lot of people would say about me. So it makes a volatile mix. Heh. I think we both know it, too. 

It is too bad. On the other hand, even if he fires me... I think *I'll* be OK with it, as far as social situations go. I hope he'll be able to not care that I won't care, though. 

 

 

Fri Jan 15 2021 19:07:40 MST from TheDave

Yeah, I get that too.  They don't care if you're in the top 5 performers for the last 18 months if you keep calling them on bullshit and explaining why their plans are bad and how to fix them. 

Fortunately now I work for a friend who values being told how his ideas are bad and how to make them good. I love my job.

What are the expenses of the board?  I'd be willing to kick in a little to keep the dream alive.



 



That's not so bad then.  If it gets to a point where you don't feel like the board is an expense you can afford let me know and I'll pitch in.

I know exactly the type of person you're talking about.  I don't think I'm like that, but who is really fully self aware, right?



[#] Sat Jan 16 2021 17:51:54 MST from ParanoidDelusions <paranoiddelusions@wallofhate.com>

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I appreciate the offer. At some point, I have to figure out how to either do microgigs, get a real job, or monetize one of my skills and open some sort of store. 

I've got a lot of talents that could generate income - but the getting started part is a chore. 

 

Sat Jan 16 2021 00:45:51 MST from TheDave
 

That's not so bad then.  If it gets to a point where you don't feel like the board is an expense you can afford let me know and I'll pitch in.

I know exactly the type of person you're talking about.  I don't think I'm like that, but who is really fully self aware, right?



 



[#] Sun Jan 17 2021 21:45:14 MST from TheDave

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My company pays a bounty for bringing us gigs.  You get 5% of any invoices that we collect if you bring us a client.  We do web/mobile app design mostly using javascript and react but we have the ability to stretch.  We're called Nuclius.

Sat Jan 16 2021 17:51:54 MST from ParanoidDelusions

I appreciate the offer. At some point, I have to figure out how to either do microgigs, get a real job, or monetize one of my skills and open some sort of store. 

I've got a lot of talents that could generate income - but the getting started part is a chore. 

 

Sat Jan 16 2021 00:45:51 MST from TheDave
 

That's not so bad then.  If it gets to a point where you don't feel like the board is an expense you can afford let me know and I'll pitch in.

I know exactly the type of person you're talking about.  I don't think I'm like that, but who is really fully self aware, right?



 



 



[#] Sun Apr 04 2021 01:22:27 MST from Wangiss <wangiss@wallofhate.com>

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I get depressed after 18 months of anything. The longest job I had was 5 years. And yes, I was depressed for the last 3.5 years of that. Second longest job was 3 years, depressed for the last 18 months. Remarkably consistent. 

I need excitement, freshness, change. I'm a novophile. My personality includes very high Openness and reasonably high Assertiveness. This makes me very useful for short, difficult, complicated projects.

But that one job where I had to write a report every day... about how well my division was doing... compared to how our subcontractor was doing... and if I got a single datum wrong I would get in trouble... it just made me want to quit. I told my boss to his face, "I hate this report." He left. And his boss left. And my coworkers left. And I ran the whole division! My direct report for two weeks was the CEO. And then they rightly replaced me with some kid who could do it for 20k less and not be depressed and I got to quit and start my own company. And I got to pay TheDave to fly to Australia. That was fun until I botched it, lol. Which was about, oh, let me do the math... 18 months in. 

I think I'll be able to reboot it, though, once I have about 70k. 



[#] Mon Apr 05 2021 22:58:13 MST from ParanoidDelusions <paranoiddelusions@wallofhate.com>

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I lose interest once the challenge is gone. I was thinking of this recently. Work has been crazy - and we're down one guy, so I'm in the back. The other remaining guy - he is a turtle. He is slow, methodical, not a lot of hustle. He just plods along - reliably. That is good in regular times. I'm a rabbit. I attack a task at full speed. I have to think about pacing myself and slowing down. But... if there are no tasks, don't give me busy work. That pisses me off - and I just won't do it. Likewise, I'm very useful for short, difficult, complicated projects - and firefighting - but I'm not a turtle. If you put me in a turtle role, I fucking hate it. 

My boss and I have a common friend. They invited us, weeks ago, to LSFest in Vegas. We booked rooms, everything. 

This common friend, last weekend, invited my boss. Who signed up. Work has been busy, so I was going to write my days out today, but it got side tracked - then the boss came in and was talking about Vegas and LSFest. 

So, the Thursday and Friday I was going to take off - are now a pain in the ass - because he figured I'd be there. I don't know how they talked, he knew I was going when they talked, and he didn't see the problem. 

But it isn't really his fault - and he is ACTUALLY a GM guy. Has a 2014 ZL1 Camero drop top he bought right before Covid almost killed him. It is the right car for him. My M4 will dust just barely beat him 0-60 and in the quarter mile, and I'm sure will bury him on the Twisties. But if we're on salt flats - his 189 MPH top end will eventually catch up with my 156 top end and leave me in the dust. Very, very fast in a straight line on a very level surface with a trim level that is luxurious - for a domestic sports car. 

But - so fuck it... I told him, "I'll stay until Friday at 11, instead of leaving on Thursday with everyone else." 

I get to drive alone with my wife to Vegas - a nice 4.5 hour drive (that may be significantly shorter on the M4)... with the top down, with no one else in another car to worry about. We'll drive home by ourselves too. 

Then, on Monday, I'm done. It isn't his fault. It isn't even really our mutual friend's fault. But this keeps happening - and there is only one way to fix it. I'm going to give him a chance to hire someone else and get them trained up to where I can be replaced - but he needs a dependable worker who needs the wage he'll pay - not a guy who can quit and still afford his M4. That creates a weird boss/employee dynamic - which in turn creates a weird friend dynamic. 

So... I just have to. There were things leading up to this, of course... and my annual salary amounts to just under two years of M4 payments - so... it isn't SHIT income - but... if I were LIVING off it, I wouldn't be driving the M4. 

I'll let you know if this is botching it in about 18 months. Basically - this was a safety net and we're gambling on some things that seem like they're probably going to pan out - and even if they don't, things are still pretty good - but if things go to shit - we could find ourselves in a real fucking predicament. 

Which - we've done before - so I wasn't super -SUPER- excited about taking on this much debt. Things will probably be fine - and if we end up in a fucked position - we're going to have a whole COUNTRY full of people in similar shape - likely including my boss and the mutual friend - so, worrying about days off will seem trivial if we find ourselves there. 



Sun Apr 04 2021 01:22:27 MST from "Wangiss" <wangiss@wallofhate.com>

I get depressed after 18 months of anything. The longest job I had was 5 years. And yes, I was depressed for the last 3.5 years of that. Second longest job was 3 years, depressed for the last 18 months. Remarkably consistent. 

I need excitement, freshness, change. I'm a novophile. My personality includes very high Openness and reasonably high Assertiveness. This makes me very useful for short, difficult, complicated projects.

But that one job where I had to write a report every day... about how well my division was doing... compared to how our subcontractor was doing... and if I got a single datum wrong I would get in trouble... it just made me want to quit. I told my boss to his face, "I hate this report." He left. And his boss left. And my coworkers left. And I ran the whole division! My direct report for two weeks was the CEO. And then they rightly replaced me with some kid who could do it for 20k less and not be depressed and I got to quit and start my own company. And I got to pay TheDave to fly to Australia. That was fun until I botched it, lol. Which was about, oh, let me do the math... 18 months in. 

I think I'll be able to reboot it, though, once I have about 70k. 



 



[#] Tue Apr 06 2021 00:27:49 MST from Wangiss <wangiss@wallofhate.com>

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It's a bizarre but real calculus: if everything goes to hell, so many things change that there's no point planning it all out. You can prep. You can give yourself your best odds. But maybe you'll get lost in the debt tsunami and your paper will be resold so many times that the judge throws out the case, like many people experienced in the fallout of 2008.

"Do you have the original document?"

"No, your honor."

"Do you have a copy or a digital copy of the original?"

"No, your honor."

"Then I'm afraid PD gets to keep his new toy." 



[#] Tue Apr 06 2021 16:00:26 MST from ParanoidDelusions <paranoiddelusions@wallofhate.com>

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Hmnnn. I've never bottomed out hard enough to test that theory - we always take proactive measures BEFORE that point to avoid getting to that point. 

But maybe if it all turns to shit again, I should just ride it out to rock bottom. :) 

 

Tue Apr 06 2021 00:27:49 MST from "Wangiss" <wangiss@wallofhate.com>

It's a bizarre but real calculus: if everything goes to hell, so many things change that there's no point planning it all out. You can prep. You can give yourself your best odds. But maybe you'll get lost in the debt tsunami and your paper will be resold so many times that the judge throws out the case, like many people experienced in the fallout of 2008.

"Do you have the original document?"

"No, your honor."

"Do you have a copy or a digital copy of the original?"

"No, your honor."

"Then I'm afraid PD gets to keep his new toy."