We've got a guest bedroom, no need to hit the couch. I'll give you a specific date when I know more. She'll be in a 14 bedroom house in Palm Springs, evidently - with all the other C-levels. We'll do our own executive staff meeting. 

Thu Mar 11 2021 19:51:32 MST from TheDave

 

Sounds like a plan then.  I'll bring my computer and some meat, maybe crash on your couch for a night, make an event of it.

 

Thu Mar 11 2021 11:10:41 MST from ParanoidDelusions

Not next week, but the week thereafter, she'll be gone all week. 

Wed Mar 10 2021 16:34:02 MST from ParanoidDelusions

You know what, my wife is going out of town on business soon. Let me find out when that is. It'll be perfect. It is in the next week or two, I think. I'll let you know. 

Any day that week will probably work. 

 

Wed Mar 10 2021 16:32:50 MST from ParanoidDelusions

Well, today is shot from drinking all night last night. :) 

 

 

 

Thu Mar 11 2021 20:36:13 MST from ParanoidDelusions

We've got a guest bedroom, no need to hit the couch. I'll give you a specific date when I know more. She'll be in a 14 bedroom house in Palm Springs, evidently - with all the other C-levels. We'll do our own executive staff meeting. 

 

 

LOL show-off ;)

I used to have a guest bedroom/library but then I got a roommate.  It's nice to help with the bills but I miss my reading room sometimes :)

My response disappeared. It was about living in a tent by the river if not for my wife. 

Secure (HTTPS:) connections to Citadel weren't working right. There are some known issues with the version of Citadel I am running and SSL/TLS. I restarted the server, and things seem to be fine. 

If you've been using the webclient, you connect via HTTPS:, and your account has been reporting, "Not found"... this was the issue. Sorry. 

Does this have something to do with it being so quiet around here lately? 

Fri Mar 12 2021 14:50:57 MST from ParanoidDelusions

My response disappeared. It was about living in a tent by the river if not for my wife. 

 

I spent about a decade living as a nomad in california.  It has its perks but mostly it sucks balls.  I need internet to be happy.

Really? Was it by choice or circumstance, or a little of both? It seems like with you - it would have to be mostly by choice. 

If by choice - that is a very interesting life-path to follow. I'd like to hear more about that. 

Wed Mar 17 2021 19:15:21 MST from TheDave

 

Fri Mar 12 2021 14:50:57 MST from ParanoidDelusions

My response disappeared. It was about living in a tent by the river if not for my wife. 

 

I spent about a decade living as a nomad in california.  It has its perks but mostly it sucks balls.  I need internet to be happy.

Wed Mar 17 2021 20:27:30 MST from ParanoidDelusions

Really? Was it by choice or circumstance, or a little of both? It seems like with you - it would have to be mostly by choice. 

If by choice - that is a very interesting life-path to follow. I'd like to hear more about that. 

 

Nah, the housing market crash tanked the job market in california and I don't have a degree in anything.  I crashed on a lot of couches, I got a lot of temporary gigs, I lived out of my car a little and mostly just had what could fit in my car.  Eventually a friend of mine got me a place in Utah with him and I started working for a temp agency on the regular.  It was balls.

You're intimately aware of the off-shoring of IT jobs crashing that job market, so everything I studied was pretty much useless for me since the jobs that were there were taken by people who were far more qualified.  Entry level anything required a masters and 5 years of job experience.  I survived on a mixture of luck, my personal social network, and free food from the church.  If I'd been more self aware I'd have played less video games and studied more programming but I'm finally in a relatively good position now, so it's a moot point.

I've done pretty much everything but work on cars at this point.  Everyone says they value input but that's a lie, they want you to shut up and do what you're told regardless of the cost/time saving mechanism you came up with for them.  Washing dishes professionally is way more satisfying than I ever expected it to be.

a 147 IQ and 4 bucks will get you a cup of coffee.

That sounds vaguely familiar, except I had enough of a head start that I had the ability to weather the storm until things came back around. If it had happened earlier in my career, I probably would have been fucked. 

As it is, I lost my family house in Sacramento, had to move to Ohio, and roughly lost about $420,000 in personal equity during that period. At one point, we were over $90,000 in credit card debt, I had no income, I filled out a credit application for a card, expecting to get turned down, and got instant-approved for $20,000 credit limit. I literally put my income as 0 with no other sources of income (which was a lie - I did have other sources of income - just not much). 

One night, on my birthday, I had just had a $200 steak dinner and drinks, I came walking out onto K Street, and a bum pushing a cart came up. He asked me for money. I asked him how much money he had in his pockets. He pulled out like $3.20. 

I told him that if he had $3.20 more in liquid assets than I did, and that if he gave me all his money, I'd still be over $400,000 in total debt - but that I was about to get into a limo and go sit at corner seats at a King's game. I offered him a cigarette instead. He laughed his ass off and pointed as I got into the limo. :) 

Thu Mar 18 2021 01:30:56 MST from TheDave

 

Wed Mar 17 2021 20:27:30 MST from ParanoidDelusions

Really? Was it by choice or circumstance, or a little of both? It seems like with you - it would have to be mostly by choice. 

If by choice - that is a very interesting life-path to follow. I'd like to hear more about that. 

 

Nah, the housing market crash tanked the job market in california and I don't have a degree in anything.  I crashed on a lot of couches, I got a lot of temporary gigs, I lived out of my car a little and mostly just had what could fit in my car.  Eventually a friend of mine got me a place in Utah with him and I started working for a temp agency on the regular.  It was balls.

You're intimately aware of the off-shoring of IT jobs crashing that job market, so everything I studied was pretty much useless for me since the jobs that were there were taken by people who were far more qualified.  Entry level anything required a masters and 5 years of job experience.  I survived on a mixture of luck, my personal social network, and free food from the church.  If I'd been more self aware I'd have played less video games and studied more programming but I'm finally in a relatively good position now, so it's a moot point.

I've done pretty much everything but work on cars at this point.  Everyone says they value input but that's a lie, they want you to shut up and do what you're told regardless of the cost/time saving mechanism you came up with for them.  Washing dishes professionally is way more satisfying than I ever expected it to be.

Thu Mar 18 2021 10:07:38 MST from ParanoidDelusions

That sounds vaguely familiar, except I had enough of a head start that I had the ability to weather the storm until things came back around. If it had happened earlier in my career, I probably would have been fucked. 

As it is, I lost my family house in Sacramento, had to move to Ohio, and roughly lost about $420,000 in personal equity during that period. At one point, we were over $90,000 in credit card debt, I had no income, I filled out a credit application for a card, expecting to get turned down, and got instant-approved for $20,000 credit limit. I literally put my income as 0 with no other sources of income (which was a lie - I did have other sources of income - just not much). 

One night, on my birthday, I had just had a $200 steak dinner and drinks, I came walking out onto K Street, and a bum pushing a cart came up. He asked me for money. I asked him how much money he had in his pockets. He pulled out like $3.20. 

I told him that if he had $3.20 more in liquid assets than I did, and that if he gave me all his money, I'd still be over $400,000 in total debt - but that I was about to get into a limo and go sit at corner seats at a King's game. I offered him a cigarette instead. He laughed his ass off and pointed as I got into the limo. :) 

That's a great story :D

Life is weird as hell and I've learned to just go along for the ride.  Trying to paddle too hard just wears you out.  Now I watch for opportunities instead.

Most people resist the current of where life is taking them - and they spend so much effort fighting where they're supposed to be, they set themselves back. 

After 37 years within a 5 mile radius in Sacramento - life told me it was time to move to Ohio. I didn't fight it. I accepted it. 

After 6 years there, things ran dry - and I found myself in Arizona. I had other choices - but Arizona presented itself as the easiest option. There were less hassles moving to the middle of a god forsake desert filled with scorpions, rattlesnakes, and cacti. 


And I *love* it here. I hope life doesn't ask me to pull up roots and go somewhere else again. 


But if it does - I won't fight it. 

Obedience is one of the things I *think* I struggle with about faith - but in fact - it is one of the things I'm probably superior at to the average person. I go where the river takes me and figure out how to make that where I want to be once I get there. 

Fri Mar 19 2021 23:44:28 MST from TheDave

 

That's a great story :D

Life is weird as hell and I've learned to just go along for the ride.  Trying to paddle too hard just wears you out.  Now I watch for opportunities instead.

Sat Mar 20 2021 18:57:54 MST from ParanoidDelusions

Most people resist the current of where life is taking them - and they spend so much effort fighting where they're supposed to be, they set themselves back. 

After 37 years within a 5 mile radius in Sacramento - life told me it was time to move to Ohio. I didn't fight it. I accepted it. 

After 6 years there, things ran dry - and I found myself in Arizona. I had other choices - but Arizona presented itself as the easiest option. There were less hassles moving to the middle of a god forsake desert filled with scorpions, rattlesnakes, and cacti. 


And I *love* it here. I hope life doesn't ask me to pull up roots and go somewhere else again. 


But if it does - I won't fight it. 

Obedience is one of the things I *think* I struggle with about faith - but in fact - it is one of the things I'm probably superior at to the average person. I go where the river takes me and figure out how to make that where I want to be once I get there. 

 

Yeah, I like it here an awful lot.  The people are much cooler, the landscape isn't farmland paved over but you can grow things if you have a mind to do it.

I fought moving to Utah pretty hard but once I got there my life improved a LOT.  Even more once I got here.  

Welcome to the Sanitarium. We're glad to have you and hope you make yourself a home here. 

Most of those of us who are active are long-term dialup members of the Sacramento Citadel BBS community.  We're all pretty sick of mainstream, big social media sites like Twitter and Facebook.

Tue Mar 23 2021 21:28:37 MST from eBear

Hello! I came here following some links from Uncensored. Before that I hadn't logged on to a BBS in about 35 years. M0 years. My favorite systems were the Citadels. Clean, simple, and perfectly usable at 300 baud. I left the BBS scene (AKA, went to college) before the full-color, menu-driven BBSs became popular. It's great to see Citadels still in operation!

That was an unexpected hiatus for me. My wife has been avoiding therapy for a decade because it stirs up an unmanageable amount of trauma, but she finally gathered enough courage to start back up. So she's been essentially emotionally crippled and taking out the attendant frustration partially on me. My patience is Job-like, but I have one pet peeve left and it has a big red button. Somehow being told I don't care makes me irrationally angry. (Which is proof that I care, because if I don't care I don't get angry. As you've seen, I'm an expert at shrugging off people whose opinions don't matter.) And she's been pushing that big red button, so we had a shouting match about it and that put her in a depressive downcycle. The pros and cons of boundaries! She's already essentially incapable of self-care for the past 20 years (can't fall asleep unassisted, gets too stressed out in the kitchen to cook herself food) so I'm thrilled that she's finally getting therapy, but it sucks like hell in the meantime.

But it already sucked! So what's a 30% suckage increase for maybe half a year compared to a baseline C- life circumstance for 20 years? I can take an F+ for a few months, especially since my full time role as primary care provider is buffered by the longest unemployment insurance extension since FDR. It's a weird synchronicity. Meanwhile we got the orchard pruned, we're turning donated windows into a greenhouse, and I'm teaching my son metallurgy. Everything in my life besides total work frustration and a catatonic wife is fantastic. 

I was wondering where you had disappeared to. I'm sorry you're going through this - but relationships are always a series of ups and downs. My wife and I portray a very idyllic relationship on social media - but it isn't always as smooth behind the scenes as we show in public. I think most couples are like this. We had some family drama this week, not a fight - but my daughter ended up on an emotional rollercoaster and her therapist, instead of putting the brakes on it, really set the throttle to full blast. My wife ended up leaving a business trip in Palm Springs and driving back to Phoenix. It was kind of a shitshow for a while. But - I told my daughter while she was stressing out about it - these things: 


Sometimes your actions are irrevocable. They set things in motion, including other people. It is like coming to a swamp that is too big to walk around, so you start wading out. Once you're out there, you realize it is deeper than you thought, you turn to go back - and it is further back than forward - returning isn't an option. You've got to press forward and hope the water isn't over your head. 

The only thing you can do is control yourself, your actions, and your responses. Once in motion, other people will do what they're going to do - and the more you try and control that, the more likely things are to get worse. Let them react how they will. You can certainly tell them how you would prefer them to react - but ultimately, they're independent and will make their own choices. Your response to those choices is all you can control. 

Dave told me about your kid and the metallurgy - we had a Citadel MUPT here. That is pretty cool. 

Fri Mar 26 2021 22:15:40 MST from Wangiss

That was an unexpected hiatus for me. My wife has been avoiding therapy for a decade because it stirs up an unmanageable amount of trauma, but she finally gathered enough courage to start back up. So she's been essentially emotionally crippled and taking out the attendant frustration partially on me. My patience is Job-like, but I have one pet peeve left and it has a big red button. Somehow being told I don't care makes me irrationally angry. (Which is proof that I care, because if I don't care I don't get angry. As you've seen, I'm an expert at shrugging off people whose opinions don't matter.) And she's been pushing that big red button, so we had a shouting match about it and that put her in a depressive downcycle. The pros and cons of boundaries! She's already essentially incapable of self-care for the past 20 years (can't fall asleep unassisted, gets too stressed out in the kitchen to cook herself food) so I'm thrilled that she's finally getting therapy, but it sucks like hell in the meantime.

But it already sucked! So what's a 30% suckage increase for maybe half a year compared to a baseline C- life circumstance for 20 years? I can take an F+ for a few months, especially since my full time role as primary care provider is buffered by the longest unemployment insurance extension since FDR. It's a weird synchronicity. Meanwhile we got the orchard pruned, we're turning donated windows into a greenhouse, and I'm teaching my son metallurgy. Everything in my life besides total work frustration and a catatonic wife is fantastic. 

Unfortunately, I think Wangiss's experience is far more common than yours - and one "oh fuck" can wipe out a whole boatload of "attaboys". 

But it is good when you find a place that recognizes, awards and respects your abilities. 

Sat Mar 27 2021 11:41:03 MST from IGnatius T Foobar

I've done pretty much everything but work on cars at this point. 
Everyone says they value input but that's a lie, they want you to
shut up and do what you're told regardless of the cost/time saving

Not always. At my workplace I have a reputation as the super-genius everyone wants to hear from.

I don't take credit for it though. God has blessed my career, bigly.